In my head….

You would think I’d be writing more posts than usual about my impending travel, not less, but the crazy way my world is moving forward at the moment leaves me a little out of breath.

The good byes started this week – and there are sure to be a whole lot more on Sunday (I’ve steadfastly refused to have a “Going Away” party, but I have compromised with a “I’ll be sitting at the Scotto on Sunday afternoon, if you’d like to stop by for a beer” farewell thing).

Funnily enough, saying goodbye makes me feel a step closer to it really happening – In a week and a half this room, this suburb, this place I call my home, will be a very long way away for me. My friends won’t be around the corner, able to meet me for coffee at an instants notice.

It feels both surreal, and a little bit too real (a bit like COPS, the bad US reality cop show – its surreal because it’s so foreign and tacky, but the visual imagery is so raw and the jerky, intrusive, non colour tinted, non-soft focused camera work makes you feel a little too involved, a little too close).

I know I’m going away, I’m beginning to get really excited about going away – but I won’t believe it’s happening until I’m standing at the airport with my (emergency replaced) passport.

I have a Mini-Me!

She’s actually nothing like me (lucky for her), but I have a work-shadow, who in two and a half weeks will be doing my job without me standing behind her to cajole, annoy and nag her.

I think she’s looking forward to it!

I, on the other hand, am finding it hard to let go. I know I should be encouraging her to try things out for herself and have a go, but I feel such intense ownership of my job, and it’s hard to relinquish the control to this fresh-faced, ambitious, enthusiastic young ‘un.

Oh – that’s the other thing – she’s a WHOLE lot younger than me… I feel like the old wife being traded in for the younger mistress!

Speaking of being younger – who’s been bowling lately?

I revisited my youth with a game of tenpin bowling at Rosemount Bowl last night.

Oh my god, I was really bad at it. And even worse – my arse was whipped by my ex boyfriends’ new girlfriend…

Yep – the whole world is “trading up”, and I’m getting left behind!

Three weeks and counting down…

Crikey – where did all my time go?

My very organised housemates/family printed me up a calendar on the weekend, so I can start booking dinners and last minute drinks and appointments in.

Gee – those three weeks filled up fast – one minute there was a blank calendar, and the next I have only three nights free!

I quit the restaurant so I’d have enough time to see all my friends, and try to fit some sleep in as well.

I’ve actually started to realise that not only am I not able to take my entire bathroom cabinet with me, but perhaps I don’t want to either – it’s an opportunity to minimise!

Although I’ll miss my 6 different types of moisturiser (not including face moisturiser). Surely every girl needs one for feet, one for firming, one with tan ingredients in it to make you look browner, one for your hands, one perfumed for going out and one for after-sun?

My girlfriend gave me a pocket-guidebook yesterday as a belated birthday present! I found my house on the map, and lots of markets and cool shops and restaurants nearby. Hooray – my retail requirements can be sated!

I’ve been talked into having Going Away Drinks. I avoided it and put it off for ages, but it was pointed out to me that if I don’t do an en masse event, I’ll never be able to say goodbye to everyone in time.

At least my bank balance looks quite healthy!

Pity my tan doesn’t – too much time working!

My flight got brought forward by 8 hours. D’oh. I didn’t have enough time as it was, but this is getting ridiculous! Now I have my last day at ARTRAGE on a Friday, and fly out on the Sunday evening. When am I going to have time to pack?

Right now it’s 6.15am in London, and 3C. It’s very early and very cold.

It’s all so close, and so far away…

Melting ice cream cones, b(l)eached cows, giant banana lounges, row upon row of sinks.

Sculpture By the Sea is back!

Now – I could use this post as my opportunity to vent about the de-valuing of art appreciation within society through the staging of so-called “exhibitions” aimed at mass markets and filled with mainstream, “popular art”.

But I won’t.

And I won’t even get on my soap box about how large scale mainstream exhibitions like this drain corporate resources for other cultural and art experiences of a more cutting edge, experimental and challenging nature.

From a sheer “isn’t it nice to be out by the sea and looking at something different” perspective, this was very cool.

I went twice – the first time I surprised a friend by taking her for a champagne breakfast at Harvest (mmmm… hands down, best breakfast in Perth!) and then to Cottesloe to walk amongst the alien sculptures…

The second visit was the result of mentioning it to an old friend last night while we were having dinner in Fremantle. He’d never heard of it – so we did a late night reconnaissance and experienced the night light version.

The stark difference between how some pieces affected me visually during the day, because of the context of light and background colour and human interaction, and how other pieces which left me cold during the day, completely engaged me in the shadowy night, was a real experience and reminded me of something really important.

Sometimes it’s not for the artist to challenge us, but for us to challenge the art. It can be all to easy to become complacent about the apathetic action of moving through a gallery – sometimes we need to find ourselves unexpectedly outside the box.

Here’s a note for the boys – flowers makes a girls day suddenly more beautiful.

I got flowers today.

Aren’t they gorgeous?

They come from one of my most precious friends, who has one of those amazing personalities – he thinks of other people all the time, and is incredibly generous and creative.

My day suddenly looks brighter, shinier, happier, prettier…

How did I get such a lovely friend?!

You know how there are some people who don’t get sick, or when they do, it’s only for a day, but then it’s over?

Not me.

I seem to spend a ridiculous amount of time unwell in bed. This time I’ve completely lost my voice, I have a headache that makes me feel like the back of my head is about to explode and my muscles are literally screaming in pain.

But I’m at work because some days there are just too many things that need to be done, and I’m quickly running out of time to get things done.

No – I’m not a martyr. I hate that person who comes to work, spreading their infections and disease, just to prove they can’t be beaten by illness and they are more committed to work than to health. I’m all about bed and lemon tea when I’m sick. But sometimes you just don’t get the choice!

So I’m keeping myself amused by playing games with myself along the way. When I cough, I try to guess how many people in the office will go “eeewww” (usually all of them – it’s pretty chesty and gross right now).

When I attempt to take phone calls, I see how long it takes before the person on the other end says “helloooo. Is anyone there?” (I’m almost completely silent, except for a few uncontrollable squeaks).

And obviously there’s the sympathy card, because God-damn-it, if I’m going to be sick at work, the least my colleagues can do is be nice and do things for me! So I’m sign language-ing for water, head ache tablets and other treats as often as someone walks past my desk (which is pretty often, cause my desk is near the door).

So it might not be great day, but I think it’s going to be a funny one… Don’t call me, I’ll call you!

Here is some detail from the stationary my Mandy has designed for me.

She did it just for me, so it’s the most special design in the world.

Thanks my Mandy – you get a big gold star next to your name!

I’ve tried to write this post 4 times today, and it’s not working for me.

I keep getting too personal about myself. And today I don’t want to be serious and introspective Fiona, but I can’t seem to escape it.

However the music I’ve been listening to has been a mixture of soulful instrumentals, ballads and wailing male voices – it’s enough to make any girl start searching her soul!

This time last week I had the great pleasure of discovering Broken Social Scene for the first time, live at the Vernadah. I took a punt because my friend Alana was having her birthday there – oh how gloriously they melted from pop song to melancholy instrumental.

This week started with Nigel Kennedy… no I didn’t go see him sadly, however I was inspired by his presence in my fair city to bring out my Nigel Kennedy’s Favourites CD and give it a spin one night when I couldn’t sleep.

On Wednesday I saw Underland – the Sydney Dance Company work based on the songs of Nick Cave. It doesn’t get more soul searching and whimsical that that! The dancing was pretty amazing (a few high points, a far more low points, but mostly awe-inspiring) and of course thanks to Petronio why wouldn’t it be!?

And to finish my week – I just bought tickets to see Tex Perkins and Tim Rogers perfrom with WASO in Kings Park on Sunday night. A picnic with my new friend Maddie and some beautiful music under the stars.

Dum dee da dum dum da dee!

For a little while there, I stopped wanting to love people. I thought I would do it so I didn’t get hurt when I leave.

I stopped spending quality time with my closest friends. I tried to let them fade away – because what was the point anyway? I was only going to leave, and if I stopped seeing them now, it would be easier by the time I actually move.

It’s a big problem I have. Before anyone can hurt me, I push them away. Or if I think something is going to make me sad, I avoid it.

And then I read this beautiful string of words by a woman I sort of know, about how deeply she loves the people in her life and how much she revels in it (I think that’s what she was saying – that’s how I read it anyway).

It kept going around and around in my head. It wouldn’t go away. I didn’t want to understand why it made me sad.

Finally there was no denying it. It was time to look at my life.

I want to live my life bravely – like the woman who wrote about deep love. Her courage to love truly is far more admirable than my history of running away from what scares me.

So here is my new goal:

I will be like Max in Where the Wild Things Are. I won’t run away from my scary monsters – I’ll dance with them.

I’m still scared of being sad when I go away and not having my friends to be there to help and support me. I’m scared of going to work that first day and not having anyone to come home to and say “well – that was hard!”. Or someone to give me a hug when I get homesick. Or someone to get lost on the Underground with.

But I guess that was the point of going away in the first place…

Recovery was needed over the weekend, so I did the unthinkable and went public in a bikini.

What is it about a hangover that makes you crave a dip in a cold pool or a dive into a big wave?

My head may have wanted to explode, but the giggles of some girlfriends and the soothing darkness of sunglasses mixed with the inability to move off the pool stairs made for the perfect recovery!

So after a weekend of abusing my liver – again – I’m going on a detox!

I’ve bought some highly putrid tasting liquid called 4.3.2.1 and am guzzling as much of the recommended dose as I can. It’s foul, but promises cleansing, slimming and purifying… I guess I can’t expect the good without living through the bad first.

But somehow I have a feeling – this disgusting liquid may only stay in my life a few more days before I give it up.

By the way – I got my first tanlines for the summer! Thank God summer finally arrived, I was beginning to think I’d go to England paler than the pommies!