…like we should be able to grade friends or strangers on how they behave in public.

Today I wished I could carry little cardboard numbers around (like you see at diving competitions) and follow a particular person as he ambushed, bullied and terrorised everyone in his path.

I could almost hear the deep voice of the ice-skating-like commentary in the back of my head…

Well folks, it’s been a tough performance, and frankly I don’t know if he was up to scratch today, we’ll have to see what the judges say…. Here come the numbers – 5.4, 5.3, 5.2, 5.2, 5.1 and oooh look at that – an upset from the Australian judge – she gave him a 3!!! It looks like he’s out of medal contention and is definitly a big fat bully.

I can dream, can’t I?

…. and yes – I am the sort of person who makes up songs and ditties and sings to myself when I’m driving alone…